Exhaustion, Gratitude, and Worship

Indonesia, where to even start! There’s a lot I could say about this place and the last two weeks. I’d love to write a nice little blog and tell you all about the things we’ve been doing but I think the Lord has different plans for this blog. I want to be completely honest on what the last couple weeks have looked like and how incredibly hard it’s actually been here. 

Don’t get me wrong I do love this country and the people here but the last two weeks have been a hard fought battle for me and for the teams with me. There’s such a spiritual stronghold over this country and over the city we’re in. I walked into this country tired in every way possible physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We’ve been on the field for 7 months and it’s been absolutely amazing but I can’t lie, I’m tired and ready to be home.

I know that the Lord has so so much planned for these next two months and for this country. I know that He called me to be gone for nine months which means He will equip me for the full nine months, but it’s one thing to know it and another to believe and walk in that. There’s such a heavy stronghold of tiredness and sleepiness over this place. I’ve seen this in the people here, I’ve seen it in my team, and more than that I’ve seen it in myself. The second that we got here it was like we were all covered in this heavy and consuming tiredness that honestly never really went away. We made up excuses for it, came up with reasons we were tired but honestly it was like we gave up. Without even realizing it I had let myself agree with the tiredness, accepting it like there was no other option. Honestly I let the tiredness and my desire to go home completely consume me almost to the point of bitterness. I told myself that home would be better, if I just pushed through the next two months to make it home I could rest and be happy. Now this probably sounds pretty rough and bad and honestly it was, but my God is too good to leave me there!

Songs have always gotten me and like so many times in the past the Lord used a song to bring me back to His simple truths. “You will never leave. Your love sustaining me, Before I even knew, What love was, You’ve brought me here to rest, And given me space to breathe. So I’ll stay still until, It sinks in” Lean Back by The Worship Initiative. Yes, I was exhausted but more than physically exhausted I was spiritually exhausted and the only place to find rest and comfort for that is in the Lord so I sought Him with all I had. The enemy didn’t make that easy and He used my physical exhaustion to try and get in the way of me spending time with the Lord but God is far bigger than that.

“I will lean back in the loving arms
Of a beautiful Father
Breathe deep and know that He is good
He’s a love like no other”

God has been so good to let me just sit and rest in Him, to lean into His presence. He revealed the places I had accepted and agreed with the tiredness and given me a strength to fight it. He revealed the places I was dwelling in darkness and reminded me to focus on the light, to focus of gratitude and thankfulness. He reminded me that even though it’s okay for me to want to go home I can’t let that desire control me but rather have to lay it on the altar and worship Him above and through it. I know this blog hasn’t been super happy or the most positive but I wanted to shine light on the reality of the last few weeks and give God the glory through it. I could easily still be in the same place I was but God has brought freedom and rest and I will hold to that truth and declare it boldly.

God has brought so much freedom and revealed a lot of truth to me but there are still strongholds of tiredness and sleepiness in this place. The thing about following Jesus is that it’s a daily decision to pick up your cross and follow Him. Indonesia is teaching me that in a harder and more tangible way than I’ve ever had to before. Every day is still a choice to die to my flesh and the tiredness looking at God instead or to give into it. I want to end by just asking for your prayers. It’s a daily battle fighting tiredness and exhaustion but God has already won! I ask for your prayers over me and my team, for strength to continue to end this season and race well! For prayers against the tiredness and the strongholds of the enemy.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for the prayers and support! Leave a comment or reach out if there’s any ways I can be praying for you!

Love,

Emilee

Because of the work we’re doing here I’m not allowed to share lots of pictures or details but I wanted to add a couple just to give a little idea of life here!

Driving, Flying, and Praying

Well as I look back I realize that I haven’t done a blog for any of our travel days yet so I figured why not write one now. Honestly every other travel day we’ve had has been pretty long and repetitive but this one was just a bit different and filled with some sweet encounters I want to share.

Last Tuesday we began our travel day, loaded up our bags around 9 and started our drive. We crossed the boarder into South Africa and made a few stops along the way and pulled into the Johannesburg airport around 4. We had some time to kill before we could check bags and things so we all picked a nice little corner in the airport and hung out for a bit. I think this was by far my favorite part of travel day. During this time a couple of my friends and I decided to go check out one of the stores. I went to buy a notebook I found and started talking with the cashier. She asked me where I was from and where I was going and I got the chance to share with her what I was doing and why I was here. She got super excited and began telling me and my friend how they had just been having a conversation about the Bible and how they were both Christian’s. We got the sweet gift of praying over both of them while another friend of ours talked to and prayed for one of the other cashiers. They stopped us before we left and called one of their other friends working at a store on the other side of security and asked us to go find her before we left.

We got everything checked and made it through security and then had three hours to kill before our flight out of there. Once we found an area to leave the rest of our things my same friends and I began wandering around the airport. One of my friends stopped to talk to someone she saw and we got to talk to and pray for her as well. We wandered into some more stores and I got something at another one. Like before this cashier asked why I was there and where I was going and I got to tell her what I was doing. She told me that her dad was sick with something but they weren’t sure what it was so I got to pray over and encourage her which was super sweet.

We found the store that the first two ladies and told us to go to and found their friend. The second we asked her name she knew exactly who we were and got so excited to see us. She said that she had been waiting for us to come and we got to talk to her for a bit. She told us how encouraging it was to see so many young people traveling across the world to share the gospel and to see such devotion to the Lord. We prayed for her and one of her colleagues before we left. Honestly these few hours were some of the sweetest and most encouraging. Within just a few hours we talked to and prayed over 6 different people. Each of them we got to encourage but they also encouraged us. I couldn’t imagine a better way to leave Africa, to leave a place where you can freely and openly pray and evangelize than praying over people.

We boarded our plane around 10 and flew 7 hours to Dubai where we had an hour to get to our next flight. Our second flight was 7 hours to Singapore where we spent the night in the airport. We wandered around for a bit there but honestly everyone was tired. This was our last night all together as a squad before splitting so we stayed up hanging out. Around 4 the other two teams headed out for Malaysia and we left the airport around 5 for Indonesia. It was super sad saying goodbye to everyone and watching them leave but it makes seeing them again all the sweeter! We ended our travel day with a two hour boat ride to the island we’re now staying on. In total we traveled 43 hours but the Lords hand of protection was on us the whole way.

Our travel day was smooth and even though we’ve only been in Indonesia for a couple of days I already love it so much! I’m so excited to start ministry! Our hosts are so sweet and care for us so well! I realize that most of this blog is probably a bit boring but I wanted to give a little insight into what traveling on the race looks like and to share some cool testimonies from the airport. I also wanna say that all four of those interactions we had where we got to pray for people were just normal everyday interactions. The Lord actually gives us so many opportunities everyday to talk to and pray for people but so much of the time we miss it by simply not asking. You’d be surprised how many people will say yes when you ask to pray for them. You’d also be surprised how much of an impact a small and simple conversation can have on someone. Now I’m in a country where it is illegal to evangelize and we’re not able to just ask people for prayer or share the gospel as openly. Not having that freedom or openers as much has shown me just how much of a blessing it is. Don’t waste it, I encourage you to start a conversation with your next cashier or just someone you pass on the street. It’s so so simple and there’s actually nothing bad that can come from simply talking and loving someone. The Lord gives so many opportunities everyday and all He asks us to do is take a step of boldness and faith and trust Him for the rest!

I wanted to end with some prayer requests:

• For the people here to be such fresh and fertile soil with open hearts and hands
• Our ministry here is opening up a new center this week for the community, prayers that we’d have an over abundance of people come to that
• For my team and I as we begin a new ministry and learn more about this culture and how to minister well here.

Thank you for reading and for all of your support! If you have any questions or if there’s anything in specific you want me to write or share leave a comment or message me!

Love.

Emilee

Simple, Sweet, and Blessed

Where to even start! I haven’t been able to really write and post blogs since being in Swazi so it’s been a hot minute. Life has been so good and so so sweet! It’s crazy that our time here is already wrapping up and in just a couple weeks we’ll be in Indonesia! I’ll do my best to keep this from being super long but there’s a lot to say so bear with me. I’ll start off by telling you what ministry has looked like here.

The main ministry in Swazi is what we call care points. AIM (Adventures In Missions) has several different care points all throughout the country and at each of these care points they provide a meal for the local children and some of the local moms. For a lot of these kids this is the only meal they get each day. Our job at the care points has honestly just been to play with and love on them! Most of the kids parents are so busy with work that these kids basically raise themselves. By going to the care points we’re able to show them just a glimpse of God’s love for them and to encourage them! This has honestly been one of my favorite ministries on the race! These kids have next to nothing yet they walk with such pure joy and laughter. I’ve learned so much from them about the true joy of the Lord and walking in thankfulness! I’ve been blessed to make so many sweet little friends and it broke my heart to say goodbye to them!

Another part of ministry has been doing house visits which is something I’ve really learned to love! We go to care points Tuesday through Friday and on Tuesday and Thursdays we’d go do a couple house visits while the kids were in school. During the mornings while we waited for kids and weren’t doing house visits my team and I would do a Bible study and just have some sweet time to talk and encourage one another. I’ve loved all of our ministry here but I think something that made it so special is the team that I had with me. While we’re in Swazi our whole squad is together again and instead of being in our normal teams for ministry we’ve been mixed up and split into three teams. At first I was sad I didn’t have my full team with me but I realized that this was such a beautiful opportunity to get to know other people on my squad better. I honestly wouldn’t trade my ministry team for anything. I absolutely loved all our conversations and getting to know them so much better. I could say so much more about our ministry and care point, I could go on and on for hours about how much I love it but for the sake of time I’ll move on.

While there are a lot of things I’ve learned in Swazi and so much I could say I think one of the main things I’ve learned here is how simple but sweet life is. To be honest a big reason I felt called to the race was because I felt the Lord calling me to more simplicity. I was tired of how complicated and busy life can be and I wanted to see life stripped down to the absolute basics. Now, when I pictured the race and simplicity I pictured what life here in Swazi is like. I pictured sleeping in a tent, walking miles down a dirt road to visit someone, losing power and barely having running water. I pictured getting to sit with the Lord in pure quiet and stillness, a life free of the distractions from any sort of technology. The time we’ve had in Swazi and the simplicity of it is something my heart has been longing for and something the Lord has been so good to fulfill! I’ve learned so much of what it is to truly sit in the moment, in the silliness, in the sweetness of everyday life with Jesus and community! I’ve learned what true joy and blessings look like!

Another big thing I’ve learned in Swazi is how equip I am in the Lord, how many big things I have to say, and how many answered prayers I’ve been walking in without even realizing it. Now there’s a lot that goes into these lessons and what I’ve learned so I’ll try to keep this short. To sum it all up I’ve realized since being on the race that there were a lot of things I didn’t believe or really think I could do before. I’ve always looked to other people to start and lead things because I don’t see myself as a leader. However, the truth is that the Lord has equip me just as much as anyone else to lead things. He’s given me my own story and testimony. He’s brought me my own revelations and blessed me with specific thoughts and wisdom. He’s shown me bits of His heart and laid certain burdens and desires on mine. He’s given me things to say and to lead in and so many opportunities to walk that out. Again I could say so much more on this but to help out a bit I’ll give you an example of how I’ve seen the Lord shift my heart and mind toward leadership. A couple weeks ago my team decided to go through the book of Revelations and study it in depth. For some reason (the Lords doing) my team decided that one of the other girls and I should co lead it. Now this probably doesn’t sound like that much but Emilee before the race would have never thought she could lead an in depth Bible Study on any book let alone Revelations. For years I’ve asked the Lord to teach me how to have deep thoughts, I’ve asked for wisdom and understanding and without realizing it I’ve seen Him answer it. He’s given me a voice and thoughts that I never thought I had before and He’s teaching me how to walk those out and how to walk out being a leader. He’s equip me for everything that He asks of me, I don’t have to wait form someone else because He can do it through me just as well as them.

Before I end I wanted to share a little update about what’s next. For the next week my squad and I are at debrief and then headed to something called Awakening for a couple days. Awakening is basically a cross over between three squads and a time for us to have lots of messages and worship before our final country. Following Awakening my squad will be headed off to our final country. Now there has been a bit of a change of my squad. My team and two other teams will still be traveling to Indonesia and doing ministry there until May but the other two teams on my squad are headed to Malaysia. I am sad to see our squad split especially for our last country but I’m so excited for Indonesia! A couple prayer requests would be:

• Safe travels as we head to awakening and then to our final countries
• For open and expectant hearts, I know the Lords gonna do a lot in Indonesia
• For Indonesia to be a fertile and open country as it is a Muslim country
• For peace and such clear direction from the Lord in everything we do

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for praying! I know there’s a lot in here so if you wanna chat about any of it or have any questions leave a comment or reach out to me and I’ll try to respond! Below are some pictures from my time here!

Love,

Emilee