Refinement, Revelation, and Answered Prayers

It’s so crazy to think that our time here is already over and tomorrow we head out for Eswatini (Swaziland). Our time in South Africa has been so sweet and special to me! I’ll admit that it definitely hasn’t been easy for all or even most of the time. The Lord has used this last month to refine and teach me a lot; but even though it wasn’t easy in the moment I can already look back at the hard things and see such a sweetness from the Lord! I’ve been trying to figure out what I wanted to share in this final blog from South Africa and I think I’ve decided to share some of the big areas I’ve felt the Lord refining and teaching me! With that said bear with me as I jump around and try to figure out the best way to share glimpses of what the Lord has shown me!

The first big thing the Lord began to teach me when we got here was complete reliance on him. When we first arrived in South Africa I honestly felt weak and trapped. I felt like a lot of the things I needed were stripped away from me and I was struggling to keep going. While a lot of the things and people I had grown comfortable and used to weren’t with me the truth is that I still had everything I needed with me in Jesus. “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew‬ ‭10‬:‭37‬ ‭

The first few weeks that we were here this verse kept coming up over and over again and every time I felt so convicted. I was having a hard time adjusting because I was focused on the things and people I didn’t have with me. I was relying on my family and friends more than I was relying on the Lord but that’s not what we’re called to do. Jesus says if you love them more than me you are not worthy of me, the truth of that hits like a ton of bricks. I’ve been so blessed to have so many people that I love so dearly but Jesus is to be our first love, above father or mother, brother or sister, son or daughter, and closest friends. Being separated from all the people I’m really close to and love was really the Lord showing me the places where I was putting things above him and what I was really relying on. Laying everything and everyone else down before the Lord and truly loving him above everyone else is a really hard lesson to learn but it’s so so good! God gives us family and community to uplift and to lean on but we have to be careful to keep God as our first love and the one we’re fully relying on! He is more than worthy of our total and complete love and devotion!

Alongside the hard and the refinement which has been so sweet he’s also been teaching me a lot of really sweet things about his character and myself! There’s so many words I could use to describe all I’ve learned but if I had to pick three words to describe South Africa it would be: Refining, Revelation, and Prayer (I bet the title of this blog makes sense now huh). Honestly all three of things go so hand in hand that learning one has meant learning another and another. Since I’ve already talked about the refining part a little bit I’ll move on to revelation.

I’ve learned a lot about revelation since being on the race but it wasn’t until getting to South Africa that I’ve started to understand revelation in a deeper way. To start with I’ve learned that the Holy Spirit is always moving inside of us and he’s always bringing fresh revelation. I can’t begin to count how much fresh revelation he’s brought me through his Word and through prayer. He’s shown me so much of his character, the ways that he’s moving all around me. He’s revealed so much of his heart and opened my eyes so what he sees. The Bible is filled with so much truth and power and the Holy Spirit is so faithful to reveal that truth if you ask! More than anything, I’ve learned how much the Lord loves to bring fresh revelation! He doesn’t sit up in heaven and say I guess I’ll share this truth or this thought with you, no he loves sharing and revealing things to his children! He loves to teach us more about himself and his love for us! I’m not sure what I used to think about revelation but I definitely didn’t think that it was still such a free and present thing. The Lord doesn’t just love revealing things but he brings fresh revelation every day. That’s crazy, fresh revelation every single day! All you have to do is be open to the things he’s revealing to you! What a good God to give revelation so freely!

Right alongside revelation the Lord has been teaching me the power of prayer and how he answers! It’s one thing to know that there’s power in prayer and it’s another thing to believe it and to see it! I’ve seen so many prayers from months and even years ago be answered over the last few weeks. I’ve asked the Lord to teach me how to love and read his Word and he’s been so faithful to change my heart and teach me how to truly desire his Word! I’ve asked for walls to be broken down in my heart and my mind and he’s been faithful to break through them so clearly! I’ve asked for boldness and courage and he’s provided it in over abundance every time I’ve needed it! I asked to see a glimpse of his heart for the lost and broken and though I could barely handle it he gave me a just a glimpse! He’s been so faithful to answer so many prayers and also so many of my desires! I’ve asked the Lord to fill my day with joy and laughter and he provided sweet giggly little girls! I asked for an opportunity to challenge someone in their faith and he provided a struggling Christian as our Uber driver! I’ve had such a desire to disciple and share what the Lords taught me with others and he put me in a classroom full of curious 7th graders! He’s so good and so purposeful with everything he does! He loves when we sit and talk to him and he loves to answer us!

This blog isn’t going quite how I thought it would but I’m not mad about where I’ve ended up! As much as I don’t always love writing blogs I love getting to share what the Lord is doing in me and seeing what he wants to share! There’s so many more things I want to share, so many more things he’s taught me and done here but I realize this blog is getting rather long. The Lord has changed me so much that I feel like a much different and much stronger person. Yes I’m still weak and lacking in so many areas but my relationship with the Lord has grown and strengthened so much! Yes, there’s still so much more for the Lord to change and to teach me but I’m so thankful for all the work he’s already done!

Before I wrap up I want to give a little vision for what the next step of the race is. Like I mentioned before, tomorrow we leave for Swazi where we’ll be for about a month and a half. Our whole squad will be reunited and staying at the AIM base. I’m not sure how often I’ll have WiFi so this might be my last blog for quite awhile. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (especially with how long it is). Thank you for all your prayers and support! I’ll do my best to post when I can but since I’ll be pretty dark for the next couple months here’s some things you can be praying for

• For safe travels over all three of our teams as we head to Swazi
• For open hands and open hearts to whatever the Lord has planned for us in Swazi
• For the people of Swazi to be fertile soil with hearts that are ready to receive the Lord
• For me and my squad as we head to a place where we won’t be able to contact family and friends as much
• For the country of Indonesia, that the Lord would be doing big work and moving now to prepare fresh soil and open hearts
• For safety and protection over Indonesia and whatever our time there looks like
• For peace over all the unknowns that Indonesia holds

Love,

Emilee

Children’s home

The beach

Holiday club

Evangelism

Pool day

Evangelism team

Beach day

Headed to ministry

Church

Post talking to 7th grade class

Christmas Eve

Christmas Service

Courage, Boldness, and Friends

 My last blog post technically covered the last few weeks but there’s so many more things I would love to share! While there’s a million things I could write about I just wanted to write a short little post about our ministry this past week. Like I’ve said previously, our ministry here looks like a lot of seeking out opportunities to share the gospel whether that’s through street evangelism, Uber rides, knocking on house doors, or going to schools. We’ve done a lot of different things but there’s one specific day and story I wanted to share.

I think it was this past Tuesday but our ministry for the day was going to some apartment complexes and houses to just chat with people. We split into groups and I ended up in a group with four other girls and so we began knocking on doors. Within the first few apartments we tried we ran into a little boy who was nine (almost 10 as he let us know) and talked to him for a few minutes. We began to move to the next set of apartments and he said he wanted to join us and began leading us over to the next place. Once we got there he started pointing out doors where he knew people lived and watched us talk to people. After a few houses I asked him if he wanted to knock on the door and he told me he would knock but he didn’t want to say anything and so I got him to knock.

He began knocking on all the doors from that point on and after a couple more doors I asked if he wanted to talk. He protested for a second and then he looked at me and said “How about I say hi and ask them if they know Jesus and if they want prayer but that’s it. You say the rest.” I immediately agreed and at the next apartment he was the one to start us off with talking and then we would switch to someone else. After a while we finished all the apartments and waited for everyone to meet back up before we went to the houses nearby. While we waited our little friend brought two more of his little friends along and we got to talk to both of them for a bit.

We headed off to go to the houses and all three of the little boys not only came along but started leading the way. They began almost running to houses and debating over who would get to speak at which one. They got so excited that we kept having to tell them to slow down and wait for us to get there. I’ll admit most of the houses turned us away and didn’t want any prayer but that never stopped the boys from running up to another one and trying again. We ended our day by getting invited into the house of some Jehovah Witnesses and talking to them for quite awhile. We discussed a couple of different points with them and didn’t get very far but even while we sat there talking to them the young boys would ask or answer questions. They weren’t afraid to join in the conversation or to get something wrong they just wanted to learn.

While the day didn’t look super fruitful as far as conversations that we had with people it sparked something so bright in those young boys lives. Getting to see how excited they got knocking on doors and praying for people brought me so much joy and hope for the next generation. We didn’t force them to come with us but they willingly came and went from following to leading us. It was also such a good reminder of childlike faith. These boys weren’t worried about saying the right words or doing everything correctly they just wanted to share Jesus with people. A lot of the time I struggle to walk in the kind of boldness and courage these young boys walked in, but why should I be worried when I have something so good and beautiful to share? The Lord is doing big things in their lives and I thank the Lord he let our paths cross!

This is a little longer than I wanted it to be but my hope in sharing is that maybe it can bring you a little bit of hope and encouragement for what the Lord is doing in the next generation! Thanks for reading! Below is a video from our day, I wish I could add pictures but I don’t have permission to post any.

Love,

Emilee

Faithfulness, Conviction, and More

I’ll be honest, I haven’t been as good about writing my blogs recently as I’d like to be but it’s not for lack of trying. I can’t even count the number of blogs I’ve tried to write but I just never seem to be able to finish. I can never figure out what it is I want to say so I’ve decided to try something new this time and we’ll see where I end up.

We’ve been in Kluff for about two weeks now and the Lord has really been opening my eyes and teaching me so much. It all started on the first day that we got here, Gabe, our ministry host, had asked the question “Who here is comfortable with standing up and giving a message” well I’ll be honest I didn’t raise my hand. He followed that question up by saying if you weren’t raising your hand maybe you should be and so the Lord began convicting me.

A couple of days later I was sitting with the Lord in my quiet time and I felt like the Lord had been calling me into more boldness in a lot of ways but especially with being willing to give a message so I prayed a big and bold prayer. I told the Lord that my hands were open to whatever it is that he might be calling me into, I gave him permission to call me into the uncomfortable whatever that may look like and he wasted no time in answering me. Later that day for ministry our leaders split us all into groups to do a variety of things based off what they felt the Lord wanted us to do. One group went out to evangelize, one group did intercession, one group did a deep dive in the Bible, and finally my group got assigned to going and writing some messages. Just like that the Lord not only heard my prayer but answered it instantly with an opportunity to follow through on what I had said. So I spent the afternoon writing a message on Romans 8 and then presented it to the rest of the team later that night. While I could write more about that experience the point isn’t what I wrote about but more about the step of faith it called.

Another thing that I had felt the Lord convicting me of, from almost the second we got here, was being more bold in evangelism and sharing the gospel. One thing I’ve learned about our time here has been that a lot of ministry looks like looking for small opportunities to share the gospel. That same day that I had previously mentioned with writing the message also presented another opportunity for me to step out in faith. Our mode of transportation here is through Ubers and we decided as a group to use all of our car rides as an opportunity to evangelize. So after we had finished writing our messages it was time to head home and as much as I didn’t want to I got into the front seat which made it my turn to share the gospel. I’ll admit it started out a bit rough but as I sat there and asked the Lord to give me the words I needed he was so faithful to answer. I honestly have no idea what half of the stuff or questions I asked were but the Holy Spirit was speaking through me and planting seeds.

There are so many more stories that I could share, I think I have at least one for every single day we’ve been here but I want to get to the point of why I even share these. This didn’t all start just because of a prayer I prayed or something I said but because I asked the Lord to call me into more and I followed it up with actually taking a step of faith. What the Lord was so quick to open my eyes to after that small step of faith was how much more he has for me and how much more he wants to give me.

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.” – Luke 16:10

Since the day we got here the Lord has been convicting and revealing so many things to me and a lot of them stem from this verse. “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much” I always thought that I had a good understanding of this verse and that I’ve always followed it pretty well but boy was I wrong. Yes it means to be faithful with the jobs or things the Lord has placed you over but it also means to be faithful in all the opportunities the Lord has given you. The Lord answering my prayers in the previous stories showed me so much about where I was lacking. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve had the opportunity to write and give a message, to share the gospel with someone, to share with a group or even friends what the Lord’s teaching me, or even something as simple as pray for a group. Every single time any of these opportunities was presented to me it was the Lord asking me to walk in faith in such simple ways but more often than not I chose not to walk that out. The reality of that hit me like a ton of bricks.

A part of me wanted to have the “bigger” opportunities like sharing the gospel or to give a message; but I wasn’t being faithful with the little opportunities I was given so why on earth would the Lord give me more that I wouldn’t be faithful in. I had been asking the Lord to give me more opportunities to step out in faith and be bold and the reality was even before I asked he’d been giving them. He’s been giving me opportunities all of my life, I was just so focused on looking for bigger ones I didn’t see the little ones right in front of me. If I asked my friend to pray over our meal and they refused then why would I ask them to give a message? I know this sounds kinda harsh but it’s honestly true, there’s so many opportunities that the Lord gives us every single day that we just walk right by or pass up. We get caught up waiting for bigger things that we miss all the little ones he gives us. We pray for opportunities and for more but if the Lord doesn’t answer our prayers the exact way we expect (which he almost never does) then we miss it. Another big thing that the Lord has revealed to me about being faithful is being faithful in convictions.

Like I’ve said previously, since being here the Lord has been convicting me of a lot of things, not all of which may seem super big or bad. There’s a lot of areas that I’ve seen this play out but let me give you an example with my phone. The house that we’re currently staying in has WiFi and let me tell you that’s a rarity on the race but because of that WiFi can become very addictive very fast. So the Lord began with a simple conviction of not looking at my phone until I’d spent time with him in the morning seems simple enough right? Well as soon as I started walking in that conviction he started calling me even higher and I began to feel convicted about my screen time. I felt like the Lord was telling me that my screen time should never be more than the amount of time I spend with him each day. Now that conviction is a little harder to walk out but as soon as I started walking that out the Lord began to bless the time I spent with him even more. More than that, the longer I walked out that conviction the more that I started to easily spend way more time with the Lord than on my phone and my desires started to shift. This is just one area that the Lord has really been convicting and calling me higher in but there are so many others. He’s been convicting and calling me higher in everything from the tiniest action of making sure I wash my dish to my words and the thoughts that I allow to dwell in my mind.

Now I realize I’ve kinda talked about a lot of different things in this blog and I really hope that I didn’t lose you along the way but I’ll try to summarize some of it quickly before I end. The Lord has shown me what it really means to be walking faithfully in every opportunity (big or small) that he gives me. He’s also been revealing to me what it looks like to walk in a higher conviction and the blessings and fruit that come from that! He has been teaching me to walk faithfully in the opportunities he’s giving me and the convictions he’s giving me. There’s so many more things that I want to say. So many more stories and testimonies of what he’s been teaching and showing me; even just in these areas, but I think it’s time to wrap this up.

I apologize for such a long blog but I thank you for taking the time to read it! I would encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal any areas or opportunities that he’s given you that maybe you aren’t being fully faithful in. Ask the Lord to call you into a higher conviction and then actually take the steps to walk in it; it’s truly such a joy and blessing to walk in high conviction. If you ask with an open heart and open hands he is always faithful to answer it!

If you have and questions or wanna hear more message me or leave a comment. I’ll have WiFi for another week or so and would love to share more about what the Lord’s taught me or maybe hear what he’s taught you. Thanks for all the support!

Love,

Emilee

Running, Jumping, and Laughing

We’ve been in South Africa for two weeks now adjusting to what life and ministry look like. While we’re in South Africa our squad has been split up into three smaller groups and sent to different places. My team has been paired with another team in the squad Rivers and our ministry has been partnering with circuit riders and traveling around South Africa.

For our first week here we were blessed to be able to have a couple of days to really just rest up after all of our traveling. We really didn’t have a ministry but we did get to go to church and met a lot of really kind and welcoming people. We got to meet a really sweet family and got to spend Christmas with them which was super special! I’m not gonna lie it was really hard not being home for Christmas and missing everyone but I was really grateful for that family and the kindness and love they showed us!

The day after Christmas we headed to Liv Village a children’s home that we’d be working and staying at for 9 days. This was the first real ministry we’ve had in South Africa and it was honestly a lot. Our role there was to be running a Holiday club with the kids and keeping them busy. We were in charge of planning and executing the whole thing each day. The day was split into two sections and two groups of kids. The first two hours we spent with the younger kids and then after lunch we’d do another two hours but with the older kids.

Each day for holiday club we would start out with a little game to get the kids engaged and then we would do some songs and a little skit/message with them. Since it was right after Christmas we decided to slowly do the nativity story with them each day. When we first started at the beginning of the week it was definitely hard to get the kids engaged, but by the end of the week most of them would be dancing to the songs with us and really engaged. After we did a message and songs we would do a craft and then spend the rest of the time playing lots of games with them. These kids were kinda crazy and they loved running around and playing basketball. I’d never played basketball before we went to LIV and even though I was really bad at it (trust me the kids let me know) I still played every single day and I like to think I got a bit better by the end.

The afternoon with the older kids was similar to that of the younger ones. We would do some songs and then do a little message Bible study time with them and then play lots of games. I’m not sure I’ve ever run around or played so many games before in my life but it was so so mucin fun! I laughed and had so much fun with the kids all week long! Even though it was just 4 hours a day I was absolutely exhausted in the best way at the end of each day! At the end of the week we planned a big day with lots of water games and just fun, we called it our birthday party for Jesus but it was such a sweet way to end our ministry there!

While ministry at LIV was really sweet and good it wasn’t without its hard parts. One of the things about working with kids that come from such hard backgrounds is the restrictions we were given. When we first got to the village we were told not to really touch the kids, no hugs or holding hands, no picking up the little ones or letting them sit on your lap. They honestly sounded really harsh but there were a lot of really good reasons behind it like teaching them what normal healthy boundaries are. I think the thing that made it so hard was coming to that environment out of the one we had in Guatemala. Because of the language barrier in Guatemala a lot of our ministry with the kids did involve picking them up or hugging them, a big way to show love was through physical things like that; so coming from that environment to one that was completely different was a hard adjustment at first. If there’s one thing that I learned there it’s that there’s so many different ways to show love to people whether that’s just through words, through a hug or high five, or just by doing something (like basketball) that you might not enjoy but that you get to do with someone else.

Our time at LIV was really sweet and special and I learned a lot there! For the rest of the time we’re in South Africa we’re headed to a place called Kloof to do some ministry there which I’m super excited for!

This blog post was meant for the last week of December/beginning of January so I’ll admit it is coming out quite a bit late. With that said, thanks for taking the time to read this!

Love,

Emilee

We weren’t allowed to take pictures with or of the kids at LIV so I don’t have too many pictures from this week but here are a couple of the ones I did get!

Last night there

Basketball Practice

New Years Eve

Our view

Pre-Holiday Club

Traveling, Waiting, and Expecting

Well as I think a lot of you know this past week we began our long journey from Guatemala to South Africa. We left Guatemala early Tuesday morning and arrived here early Friday morning with a total of 63 hours worth of travel. I’m not gonna lie to you traveling for this long was not something that I was looking forward to nor something I enjoyed a ton. I’m not super big on planes so having to spend a total of 27 hours in the air sounded quite miserable to me but thankfully I have a much bigger God then that who made flying much better. I could talk more about our week of travel and share more details but I fear that would be rather boring and repetitive. To sum it up God was incredibly good to let everything move along smoothly and to bring us here safely. Instead of talking about travel I’d much rather spend some time thinking on what the Lords taught me and write about that. The thing that comes to mind right now is simply the word Marantha!

Maranatha isn’t a word I’d really heard before the race but it’s been such a big one especially since getting to Guatemala. The meaning behind the word is simply “Come Lord Jesus”. It’s a cry for Jesus to return, a cry for his second coming. I think that this is a cry that we often don’t take seriously enough and end up missing out on. I know I should have my eyes fixed on heaven but too often I get distracted by the things of this world and lose sight of heaven. Since being on the race the Lord’s shown me how to fix my perspective little by little and I’ve been slowly learning how to really live with the cry of Maranatha!

I think the place that I’ve learned this the most is with the ministry we had Reindom. One of their core values was the word Maranatha and it’s something they’re really passionate about. The people that work there truly are people that live with a heart and mind focused on Jesus coming back. Maranatha was the cry and focus of several of our prayer room times, we always came back to a heaven mindset. More than just living this way, they also made such a point to teach it. I remember one of the last weeks we had there our focus for prayer room was that the next generation would be a generation that is earnestly waiting for Jesus to return. Not just hoping or waiting but honestly crying out and living a life ready for his return. Living so expectantly with a heart that is truly longing to see Jesus return! A generation preparing for his return.

Another big thing that taught me a lot about this was a lesson we had at our debrief in Guatemala. This lesson was about walking with an eternal perspective. I found that this is something I struggle in but something that is truly important to be walking in. If I’m not focused on the goal at the end of everything then I’m gonna get tired or distracted by the things that seem so big in the moment. Life is hard, life as a Christian is especially hard, Jesus never promised it to be easy but if our hearts and minds are focused on the heavenly goal at the end it makes the hard and the suffering that much easier to endure. Looking to the prize of heaven makes it so much easier to count the cost of all trials as joy! It’s so easy to get distracted by earthly things but longing to see Jesus face to face is so much more beautiful than anything this world could offer.

Honestly this lesson really challenged and convicted me about what my focus often is on and showed me just how often I tend to get distracted by earthly things. I might live with an overall cry of Maranatha but is that where my heart and mind are dwelling every moment of every day? How often do I think on eternal things? What am I doing to prepare for the end, for Jesus to return? If Jesus returned this very moment would I be prepared or would I be caught off guard? Am I really waiting and living expectantly for Jesus to return? I know these seem like such easy basic questions but actually answering them honestly how much do you think about eternal things versus what the next part of the day is? We’re not even promised tomorrow but how much more time do we spend thinking about it rather than heaven? Are you really living with a heart that is longing and waiting expectantly for Jesus to come back?

This lesson and my time working with Reindom really opened my eyes to what living with the cry of Maranatha really looks like. How much sweeter life can be when you’re focused on heaven and all that’s to come. How much sweeter life is when you’re actually living expectantly waiting for Christ to return! Looking to Jesus as the prize makes it so much easier to count the cost. So each day the Lord’s taught me just a little bit more about what it is to walk with a cry of Maranatha, to walk with my eyes fixed ever more on eternity with Jesus!

I know it’s been a bit since I’ve written a blog and this one is getting posted a couple weeks after I wrote it but thank you for taking the time to read this! If you have any questions or thoughts leave a comment or message me!

In Gods hands,

Emilee